Foxface Responds, Fake Hyperpop, Theater Recs
Kernels, March 21 - March 31, 2024.
Kernels is a somewhat weekly column of what I’ve been up to and what I’m looking forward to. In this edition: first thoughts on new Bey, a response to a response to a negative restaurant review, and some plays and musicals y’all should see.
A quick note: after publishing my previous column, a friend informed me that my Noma news was out of date… at the start of March, they announced that instead of ending things at the end of this year, they’ll have just one more Ocean Season… thus postponing their closure to likely be at the end of next May. We love an eternal “going out of business” sale.
Caroline Schiff, the pastry chef responsible for the best things to eat at Gage & Tollner, is leaving the restaurant to open up her own diner! It’ll be a while until any of us can eat her sweet morsels again, as she and her business partner are currently looking for a space, but this is very exciting news.
The next newsletter after this one will be all about some new movies playing in theaters and some old movies that are about to play in some theaters!
Garfield Would Approve
You should make the same lasagna that I did last week: a porchetta-spiced pork shoulder lasagna. The meat is braised for a few hours, then shredded. It gets layered in to a classic red sauce & ricotta lasagna, and the result is chewier and more flavorful than the standard ground meat mixture. (I need a synonym for lasagna.) The Calabro ricotta that comes in a metal can is the best I’ve ever had. Not strictly necessary when used in a lasagna context, of course, but you gotta indulge a little whenever you can. It’s also very inexpensive. You can use store-bought red sauce if you wanted, but making it from scratch is super simple.
I haven’t figured out how to bake a lasagna that doesn’t fall apart into a glorious mess when using dried noodles. One time I bought fresh lasagna sheets and it changed the game. I need to do that more often… I don’t have a pasta roller otherwise there would be no question about this.
More Thoughts on Restaurant Buzz
In my previous newsletter, I wrote about stepping away from dining out this winter, citing a disappointing meal at Foxface Natural. Part of that piece questioned the timing of the restaurant’s effusive reviews from the local food media. Surprisingly, I got a response from Ori Kushnir, one of Foxface’s owners. Here’s his comment, reproduced in full:
"they claim they don’t “pay a PR agency to feed garbage publications [their] content,” but given the well-timed press in every other publication… I call bullshit. "
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that generally doesn't cover falsely claiming others are lying. We did not pay anyone and we did not reach out to any publication directly or indirectly. Grub Street found us two months after we opened, while the New Yorker and NYT did cover us on the same week but this was almost four months after we'd opened, and a mere coincidence. That your instinct is to believe all coverage is PR driven hype is exactly why our response to Eater was necessary.
Sorry you didn't enjoy your meal.
Mr. Kushnir strongly refutes my speculation about his restaurant’s press coverage, which I admit was purely conjecture. I appreciate the correction and have edited the original post to reflect this. I stand by the rest of what I wrote: I wish I hadn’t been disappointed by my meal 🥲 and the way the restaurant fired back at that negative Eater article rubbed me the wrong way. Creating something — whether it’s a film, a painting, or a restaurant — is a very personal act, and there’s a reason it’s not uncommon for a filmmaker or a playwright to avoid reading reviews of their work. Of course, running a restaurant is very different from making a movie; those ecosystems aren’t that comparable.
But this comment got me thinking a bit more about the perils of restaurant buzz. Every time I write something, I always feel like I come up with better ideas after the email gets sent out. It’s nice to revisit some of my thoughts, sometimes. I don’t think what I’ve written here is the best version of what I’m trying to say but here it is.
I had high expectations coming into Foxface Natural. That effusive praise from the likes of the Times and Grub Street made it out to be a place where these big, bold swings all hit the mark. Had it been positioned as a place where there were some misses — interesting misses — would I have viewed my dinner there more kindly? Novelty and narrative are appealing for food journalists and restaurant critics… And maybe they just had a better time than I did.
Not too long before eating at Foxface, I had dined at Lord’s, an English meat palace from the team behind Dame. I thought the meal was very good, and the space itself is insanely cozy. But one of my friends, who had dined there when they first opened, lamented that the edges had been sanded down. There used to be dishes like braised tripe, not a common dish for the West Village crowd, but it had since disappeared from the menu. Not sure if that was due to sourcing or lack of interest from the guests, or a mix of other factors. But I had no idea about what I was missing, and came away very satisfied.
I’m not advocating for people to enter restaurants with no preconceptions at all. With limited time and limited funds, expectations matter. When I walk into a red sauce joint, I hope the meal will be comforting, but I know I won’t be blown away. Effusive praise from the media about bold, adventurous cuisine and a tough reservation to snag — I’m approaching that place with a different mindset. On the flipside, without headlines such as the “most original new restaurant,” I don’t know if I would have put this restaurant so high on my “to go” list. Maybe a PR firm would have helped get the right messaging and positioning out there, maybe not. But I’m clearly a minority opinion anyways; Foxface Natural has a super high average rating on Google and Yelp.
Finally, and this really isn’t related to Foxface at all, this also got me thinking about what happens to restaurants that blow up in (legacy or social) media and aren’t prepared for it. It brought to mind Allison Robicelli’s requiem on the Nutellasagna, a dessert she created as a joke that achieved escape virality. It got so popular that it ended up shutting down her bakery. It speaks to the side of food culture that I do my best to ignore. (Note that I will never, ever, describe myself as a “foodie.”) I’ve never had a TikTok account and I ignore the Reels/Explore section of Instagram. I tried using Beli but deleted it because I really don’t understand how it’s supposed to work. All I can do is listen to my friends and read the news, but always with healthy skepticism.
My thanks to Mr. Kushnir for finding this little newsletter, somehow. This Substack thing gives my writing a veneer of unwarranted professionalism when I’m mostly just Some Guy… but my goal is to develop and become a bit more than that with some time.
Yee-Haw Weekend
A belated Happy Beyoncé Day to all who celebrate! After listening to Cowboy Carter a couple times, my standouts are “Bodyguard,” “II Most Wanted,” and “II Hands II Heaven.” “16 Carriages,” which was initially released a couple months ago, remains the best song on the whole record. This album seems like something that will only improve with time, even if the interludes pad this out too much. (Hot take: all interludes and skits should be reserved for the live show.)
One big letdown for me was her cover of “Blackbird.” The concept was inspired; Paul McCartney had written the song about the Civil Rights Movement, and Beyoncé adds another layer of meaning, with backing vocals from four up and coming Black country artists: Brittney Spencer, Reyna Roberts, Tanner Adell and Tiera Kennedy. But on the production side, some of the harmonies and strings distracted from the spare beauty of the Beatles’ original. While I respect trying to do something different with the arrangement, the result didn’t work. Perhaps it’ll grow on me. I also didn’t care for her rework of “Jolene,” which was written for the stans (derogatory).
Good luck to every other artist releasing music this week and next. There’s a new single from Camila Cabello called “I Luv It” that’s so bad it almost makes you think it’s good, actually, but really it’s just bad. The wannabe-hyperpop tune sounds like an AI-generated Charli XCX/SOPHIE ripoff, with some unintelligible mumbling courtesy of Playboi Carti1. No one from PC Music was involved with this track — and you can tell! It was produced by El Guincho and Jasper Harris; the former is best known for his work with Rosalía, the latter has topped the charts with his recent work for Jack Harlow and Tate McRae. It sounds like their first attempt at making any kind of beat, hyperpop or not. Someone tell me what’s going on with that post-chorus! The mixing is passable on my laptop, but on proper speakers it’s rouuuugh. Alphonse Pierre's review for Pitchfork puts it best: “a deranged concoction of expensive nonsense.”
Theater Theater Theater
It’s not just you — there is an overwhelming number of new theater shows opening up this season, on Broadway and off. It’s a lot to keep up with, and while the bigger productions will likely stick around for at least several months, plays and Off-Broadway musicals have much more limited runs. Here’s my shortlist of shows that I think are flying a bit under the radar within the mainstream. (I’m very excited about Cabaret and The Outsiders and intrigued by the Steve Carrell-led Uncle Vanya, but I don’t need more people buying tickets to those. Save room for me!)
Cats: The Jellicle Ball
Inspired by the Ballroom culture that roared out of New York City over 50 years ago and still rages on runways around the world. Staged as a spectacularly immersive competition by Zhailon Levingston (Tina: The Tina Turner Musical, Chicken & Biscuits) and PAC NYC Artistic Director Bill Rauch (All the Way), with all new Ballroom and club beats, runway ready choreography, and an edgy eleganza makeover that moves the action from junkyard to runway. Come one, come all, and celebrate the joyous transformation of self at the heart of Cats and Ballroom culture itself.
Cats is rightly criticized for not having an actual plot. But placed in the context of a Ball competition with a “radical reimagining,” it might actually make sense now? Also, André de Shields (originated Hermes in Hadestown) is in this!! If you’re under the age of 30, call 212-266-3000 and you can get a ticket for $39 in pretty much any section. (Runs June 13 — July 14)
Three Houses
Susan has fled to Latvia. Sadie hides in New Mexico. Beckett longs for Ireland. All three are alone; all three are haunted by their grandparents; all three hear the Big Bad Wolf scratching at the door. Three Houses is a post-pandemic open mic night parable about magic, madness, and the end of the world.
Dave Malloy wrote Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812, the best musical that I’ve ever seen. I have an eternal vendetta against Dear Evan Hansen for taking all the Tony wins that this show deserved. This doesn’t seem like it’ll have as much commercial potential as Comet, but it’ll at the very least be something different. (Runs April 30 - June 9)
Mother Play
It’s 1962, just outside of D.C., and matriarch Phyllis (Jessica Lange) is supervising her teenage children, Carl (Jim Parsons) and Martha (Celia Keenan-Bolger), as they move into a new apartment. Phyllis has strong ideas about what her children need to do and be to succeed, and woe be the child who finds their own path. Bolstered by gin and cigarettes, the family endures — or survives — the changing world around them. Blending flares of imaginative theatricality, surreal farce, and deep tenderness, this beautiful roller coaster ride reveals timeless truths of love, family, and forgiveness.
A new play by Paula Vogel, who won a Pulitzer for How I Learned to Drive. Jessica Lange sort of disappeared in the past several years, but she’s back and is coming for that Tony! (But who are we kidding, it’s Sarah Paulson’s to lose.) If you’re 30 or younger, use code 30UNDER30 and tickets are, well, $30. (Opens April 3)
What Became of Us
Two siblings. One born there. One born here. How do they maintain their connections to The Old Country, and to This Country, and to each other?
Features a split cast: some performances will star Rosalind Chao and BD Wong (!!!!!!!!), others will star Shohreh Aghdashloo (!!) and Tony Shalhoub (!!!). And a few nights will feature both casts, performing the play back to back. That’s a rare opportunity to see for yourself how actors influence a play. (Runs May 17 – June 29)
The Welkin
Rural England, 1759. As the country awaits the return of Halley’s comet, a young woman is sentenced to death. When she tries to escape the noose by claiming she is pregnant, twelve ordinary women are gathered to decide whether she is telling the truth. A dark, fierce, funny play about democracy and housework.
Sandra Oh is in the cast for this one! If you sign up for a 4-Flex membership at the Atlantic Theater Company, you can get two tickets each to see The Welkin and What Became of Us for $60 a pop. (Runs May 16 – June 30)
Staff Meal
Outside, the world is breaking apart. But in here, lonely city dwellers gather to find comfort and connection. Abe Koogler’s Staff Meal is a funny, startling new play about a mysterious restaurant, where the food is delicious, the service is warm, and some strange power keeps the darkness at bay. You are safe here – at least until closing time.
Maybe I’m just a sucker for anything dining-related. If you’re under the age of 35, sign up for a free membership that gets you $20 tickets to this as well as the musical adaptation of Teeth, which doesn’t need any more hype. (Runs April 12– May 19)
Illinoise
Based on the landmark Sufjan Stevens album, Illinoise “springs to epic life onstage” (The Washington Post) in a “mysterious, deeply moving and unforgettable dance-musical” (The New York Times) directed and choreographed by Tony Award winner Justin Peck. An original coming-of-age story that takes the audience on a journey through the American heartland — from campfire storytelling to the edges of the cosmos — all told through a unique blend of live music, dance, and theater.
Sufjan Stevens dance musical! Come on feel the Illinoise! But also lol at the producers sliding this one in juuuuust before the Tony’s eligibility deadline. (Runs April 25 - August 16)
Macbeth (an undoing)
Shakespeare’s iconic Lady Macbeth is ruthless and driven, unstoppable in her pursuit of power, yet she quickly descends into madness and despair. Zinnie Harris’ thrilling new version undoes the story we know, and remakes it, examining Lady Macbeth’s trajectory asking if we have really heard the whole story.
If you’re under the age of 30, use code NEWDEAL and tickets are just $25. Used this discount to see Waiting for Godot and Public Obscenities recently, and while I didn’t love either play, I’m always willing to take a flyer on a show when it’s so cheap. (Runs April 5 – May 4)
March Grog Log
Finally, here’s the first drink I had every day this month. Lots of stuff at home to start off, as I was hosting so many dinner parties during then… and I start going out again towards the end of this month. April will have a lot more restaurant writing, I promise.
Blood Orange Negroni test, made by me, at home
Classic Negroni, made by me, at home
“Corn & Oil,” made by Eric, at home
“Corn & Oil,” made by me, at home
Nothing
Paulaner Märzen at DSK
A neat pour of Whiskies of Scotland Mortlach Single Malt - 1995 at home
Sake at The Last Call
Nothing
“Bella’s Martini,” made by me, at home
Nothing
Lagunitas IPA at Little Beaver
Old Fashioned at FancyFree
Boulevardier at Hav & Mar
A cocktail experiment, made by David, at home
A shot of Fernet at home
A glass of wine at Carina’s
Sixpoint BKLYN Summer at Sixpoint Brewery
Maloof “Scrambled Sticks” 2021 at Rosella
Nothing (sick)
Nothing (sick)
A sip of Rupee Basmati Rice Lager at Lhasa
Hot Toddy at Franklin Park
“Pineapple Cake,” made by David, at David’s
“Long Underwear” at Porchlight
Côtes-du-Rhône, Dom. des Fées - 2021 at home
“Red Sorghum” at Blue Willow
A can of Narragansett Lager at Gotham West Market
A can of Kidd Squid Brewing - Sag Harbor Lager at home
A pint of Sapporo at Menkoi Sato
TBD but it’ll be at Brad and Allison’s Easter potluck
Funny enough, Camila Cabello actually sang on a song that was co-produced by SOPHIE, alongside Cashmere Cat and Benny Blanco. And an early single, the cringy “OMG,” was co-written by Charli.
" finding this little newsletter, somehow. "
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