The Tortured Eaters Department
The Tortured Eaters Department
Kernels, April 1 - 19, 2024.
With the weather warming up (in fits and starts), I’ve officially re-entered my Planning Era™. Mainly, I’ve been making dining plans, so this newsletter has write-ups of some of the restaurants I’ve been to in the past couple weeks (I ate out a lot), plus a mini-review of a new Broadway musical that stars The Flash (the non-problematic one).
Quick take on the new Taylor Swift album: man, Matty Healy really had her down bad. Way too long and unfocused, even before those extra fifteen tracks were surprise released… Pitchfork’s review, written by Olivia Horn, eloquently captures my own sentiments, though we disagree on which songs are better than others. Feels like the Taylor Swift bubble is about to burst, but haters have been saying this since 1989.
I keep writing this but my goal really is to write more often so that I can send out shorter, but more frequent newsletters. More digestible that way. Maybe next month.
Dear Theodora, what to say to you?
Was really excited about this new venture from Tomer Blechman, the chef behind Miss Ada, a neighborhood Israeli restaurant that is one of my favorite places to eat in New York. His follow-up, Theodora, is more upscale, with immaculate tile floors and stone walls, with light streaming in through skylights and large windows. Reservations are very hard to come by at the moment, but I randomly spotted an opening for 5:30 PM, right when the restaurant opens. I immediately booked it then invited a friend to come with me.
At the heart of the open kitchen are a wood-fired grill and oven, and a dry-aging fridge that sits across from the bar showcases some of the fish that appear throughout the menu. There’s distinctly Mexican influence on the otherwise New American format. One of the other owners hails from Mexico City, and accordingly, ají dulce and salsa macha appear on the menu alongside the labne and za’atar that comes from Tomer Blechman’s Israeli heritage. (The cocktail list is accordingly agave-heavy.)
As with every hot Brooklyn restaurant these days, most plates are small and everything is meant to be shared. The meal got off to a promising start, with a lovely striped bass ceviche that featured segmented lime and grilled pineapple, generously slicked with cilantro-basil oil. The hiramasa crudo was great, but could use a lot more of the finger lime that’s promised on the menu; I had to hunt for those little caviar-esque citrus pearls. Just like with sturgeon caviar, finger limes are best when provided in abundance, otherwise what’s the point. The day’s special was grilled Japanese turnips with baby artichokes and a wedge of charred lettuce. The pile of salad greens on top were a bit random, but like the best vegetable dishes, the turnips were perfect for its simplicity, well-charred over a flame.
Sadly, the two dishes we had from the grilled section did not make the best impression, given that wood-grilling and dry-aging were supposed to be the highlights here. The dry-aged steelhead trout had a pleasant funk to it, but if you popped a whole cube of fish in your mouth, the burnt skin infected the flesh with an acrid bitterness. Dialing back the time on the grill would improve it significantly. The skewered swordfish belly (not dry-aged) was merely alright, and the asparagus nubs that separated the fish pieces made it hard to slide everything off the metal skewer. The pickled sweety drop peppers were a nice touch, though. I’ll need to try the other grilled fish dishes, but based on the trout and swordfish, they need a bit more work.
Miss Ada has an unexpectedly strong dessert program, and Theodora is no different. We had the baklava sundae (tahini ice cream is great!) and a revelatory Camembert cheesecake. The cream cheese is made in-house, with a funky Camambert transformed into a sweet cake that preserves the cheese’s characteristic flavor while still being, well, a dessert. I was still a bit hungry when dinner was over, but the desserts ensured I left feeling stuffed.
In my mind, the best seat in the house is the chef’s counter, where the grillmaster tends to an ever roaring bonfire while a line cook swaps trays in and out of the oven. Even if I came away with mixed feelings about the meal itself, witnessing the cooks put everything together was an education, particularly because this hyper-seasonal style of American cooking is what I usually do at home. And I got to take notes on some things I didn’t eat. The half chicken looked really good. The split chicken is roasted until it gets super dark and crisp, then broken down and tossed in a bowl with brussels sprouts and a garlic sauce so that the vegetables soak in chicken fat, and the meat gets lightly dressed before being plated. I also saw them put the lamb dish together, which is shredded and served on a long piece of laffa bread, like an open-faced schwarma. It’ll easily serve four people. From what I saw, the wood-fired broccolini isn’t particularly innovative, but there’s a reason why a hard-roasted broccolini smothered in grated parm is on every menu in Fort Greene and beyond.
All-in price: $115 for two crudos, one bread, four small plates, and two desserts (we didn’t drink) — split two ways. Rather hefty for what it is right now, given that there’s some big hits and some big misses at the moment. One of the things I love about Miss Ada is that it’s quite affordable. I’ve typically spent about $35 on brunch, and $50-60 on dinner (and that was a big dinner). My verdict on Theodora? Check it out in another month or so, but that’s probably the earliest you can snag a reservation, and the meat dishes are probably more efficient from a cost-per-calorie perspective. Get the chicken and tell me how it is.
A Communion on Réunion
It’s unlikely that I’ll ever visit the French island of Réunion, which is east of Madagascar. But thanks to Maloya, a Bushwick rum bar and restaurant that opened at the start of this year, I can have a taste of the island’s cuisine without the twenty-four hour journey. Cuisine réunionnaise is unique — the outlines of these dishes are French, but the flavors are a mix of East African, Indian, and Chinese. Everything is served with rice. Most of what I ate was unabashedly spicy and rich. It felt very much like a meal made by a Réunionnais home cook: perhaps not the fullest expression of the food’s potential, but hearty and comforting nonetheless. The night I went with some friends, both owners were the only visible employees (one made drinks and waited tables, the other was in the kitchen). I’m sure there was a dishie somewhere, but that small staff contributed to the homely vibe.
There’s also a large cocktail list and extensive selection of French rhums, which are typically distilled from sugarcane rather than molasses. I would have thought that there were too many drinks on the menu for a restaurant, but this was originally meant to be a bar.
Four Notable Dishes
You can choose between four different fillings for the samoussas, and on the owner’s recommendation, we got the pork-thai lime and the cheese samoussas. It takes after the Indian samosa, of course, but an egg-roll wrapper makes it crispy and crunchy.
The camarons coco-vanille seems simple, but there’s a pretty fascinating combination of flavors: the coconut milk is laced with vanilla and lime. It’s delicious, and it was my favorite dish of the night.
My second favorite was the cabri massalé, a braised lamb leg cooked in Indian spices (hence the masala in the name) and tamarind. It’s very spicy, but luckily there’s rice to soak it up.
The two desserts we ordered, two cakes, are worth trying: the Gâteau Nantais (an almond-rum cake served with mango and ginger ice cream) and the Gâteau Ti’Son (a corn cake drizzled with passion fruit and mango coulis, paired with combava [makrut lime] ice cream). If I had to pick just one, I’d go with the latter. But get both.
All-in price: $57, for a round of happy hour cocktails, one set of appetizers, four mains, a side of achar (pickled vegetables), and two desserts — split four ways. More than reasonable!
Sofre(s)h, So Clean
It also felt like dining in someone’s (very nice) home when I first went to Sofreh. The Persian restaurant was a mainstay of the neighborhood (if the area around the Barclay’s Center can be considered a one) that flew under the radar in the greater New York food scene. But then sister restaurant Eyval opened in Bushwick, which immediately became one of Brooklyn’s hottest dining destinations (deservedly so, it’s terrific). Consequently, the original ballooned in popularity. Returning to Sofreh two years after my first visit, it doesn’t quite feel like home anymore. But the food is just as great as I remember it.
Four Notable Dishes
The least sexy name on the menu is shallots & yogurt, where sun-dried shallots hide under a bed of strained yogurt. Delicious as it is simple, especially paired with barbari bread that’s topped with sesame seeds. I’ve made that bread at home before and I really ought to do so again.
A zesty roasted cauliflower was a capable appetizer, which was livened up by a tomato and chili sauce and chopped pistachios.
No meal at Sofreh — or at most Persian restaurants — is complete without getting tahdig, which is the crispy, burnt rice at the bottom of the pot. It also comes with a softer rice cake of sorts, and it’s hard to share, because it’s so good that you won’t want to give any of it to your dining companions.
The restaurant’s star dish has long been the braised lamb shank, and there’s no reason for that to change. The super tender meat comes with some giant butter beans, all topped with some of those sun-dried shallots. A side of rice is essential.
All-in price: $67 for a round of cocktails, two appetizers, three sides, and two mains — split three ways. I’d recommend going in a large group, if you can swing it, just so you can try a little bit of everything. Last time I was here, it was a group of six, and we really feasted.
Au Hasard Balthazar
Spring is prime biking season, and last weekend I went on my first long-ish ride of the year. A couple friends and I rode from Central Park to Englewood, New Jersey (27 miles in total), to sample some pastries from Balthazar Bakery. Any gains I may have had from the bike ride were immediately wiped out by all the carbs. Absolutely worth it. I don’t understand how anyone who lives nearby doesn’t pick up some baked goods from there every day.
Highlights were the croissant flan, a perfectly textured canelé, and everything croissant, which I took home with me to enjoy later that night. I didn’t realize there was cream cheese inside the croissant, which was a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.
It’s primarily a production facility — you can get a Balthazar baguette at Whole Foods — but the pastry counter had a steady stream of customers popping in while I was there. Most folks put their purchases into their car and drive off, with no seating whatsoever to consume anything on-site. As outside visitors, we sat on the curb, munching while we waited for a sudden rainstorm to dissipate.
All-in price: $23.50 for five items: croissant flan, everything croissant, ham & cheese croissant, monkey bread, and canelé.
The Greatest Show?
I must admit I had low expectations going into Water For Elephants, a new musical that opened about a month ago on Broadway. All I knew was that there was a (not musical) movie starring Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon, and that I keep confusing this with Like Water For Chocolate. But my friend Grace and I were trying to figure out which show would be easy to rush, and we ended up with $49 tickets in the orchestra, fifth row, all the way to the side. (The view was partially obstructed, blocking about ten percent of stage left. But you don’t miss too much.)
The story is a fairly typical period romance. At the height of the Great Depression, young Jacob Jankowski (Grant Gustin, former head Warbler in Glee) runs off to join the circus and becomes the in-house veterinarian, though he was one final exam shy of graduation. He falls in love with the beautiful Marlena (Isabelle McCalla), but inconveniently, she’s married to the abusive August (Paul Alexander Nolan), the owner of the Benzini Bros. circus. As a tentative romance between Jacob and Marlena forms, they eventually have to confront the elephant in the room. In this case, it’s a literal one, with a well-rendered pachyderm puppet, though the designs of the other animals leave something to be desired. Perhaps Life of Pi set too high an expectation for on-stage fauna.
Water For Elephants is Gustin’s Broadway debut, and while he can certainly sing and act, he currently lacks the stage presence of his more seasoned co-stars. Nolan excels as the least greatest showman, even coming across as sympathetic at times. Isabelle McCalla is phenomenal, a triple threat who falls and twirls seemingly with ease. She’s careful not to make Marlena come off as an ingénue.
Like the original novel by Sara Gruen, there’s a framing device involving an elderly Jacob (Gregg Edelman), who occasionally appears alongside his younger self and provides narration. There’s no surer sign of weak material than having an on-stage narrator — why say that you’re feeling something when you can act it — and Rick Elice’s perfunctory book doesn’t quite make it meaningful. Edelman is a more than capable performer, imbuing his reminiscences of youth with a wistfulness, but the narration was mostly superfluous. The songs by the PigPen Theatre Co. range from just fine to quite good, mixing the classic showtune style with grittier folk tunes. It’s the latter numbers that stick out more. Jessica Stone’s direction hews closely to realism, besides for an extended dream sequence that hints at a more interesting, expressionistic possibility for this material.
So there’s a lot of issues with this musical. But I had a great time! I came away from Water For Elephants, above all, in awe of the movements that the human body is capable of. Befitting a show about a circus, many in the ensemble are trained circus performers making their Broadway debuts. (Cirque du Soleil is a recurring phrase in the Playbill.) There were multiple moments when the audience loudly gasped after witnessing a particularly impressive jump or twirl or swing — sometimes within one number. One particular dancer, Gabriel Olivera de Paula Costa, pulled off so many crazy Chinese Pole moves early in the first act that he threatened to steal the entire show from everyone else. It wasn’t too surprising when he receded into the background after intermission. You’ll know who I’m talking about when you see this show. (The musical’s TikTok account posted this video and I can’t believe Olivera does this eight times a week.) And I believe it’s Antoine Boissereau who movingly performs aerial dances throughout, a good chunk of it as a troubled horse. It’s equally invigorating and nerve wracking to witness such feats of acrobatics, seemingly flawlessly every single night. With apologies to Hugh Jackman, this is the greatest show.