The False Mythology & True Misogyny of Morgan Wallen (and other life updates)
A belated take on Morgan Wallen's SNL performance. Plus: spring’s new music playlist, baking the Tom Cruise cake, and other things I did last month. Kernels, May 1-31, 2025.
On a recent Sunday morning, I was watching the prior night’s episode of Saturday Night Live while lying on my couch. Freshly minted Oscar winner Mikey Madison was the host; the musical guest was pop-country superstar Morgan Wallen. His performance during that episode would soon be overshadowed by the one he gave when it ended, when he abruptly walked off the stage during the cast farewells and posted that “Get me to God’s country” Instagram story that fueled several days of memes.
One of the songs Wallen performed that night was called “Just In Case.” Like a lot of country pop songs these days, it boasts a very repetitive but very catchy hook built around some form of wordplay. It’s about a man who “never lets [his] heart go all the way” in his various sexual encounters, just in case his ex hits him up again. Like most SNL viewers, during the musical performances I scroll on my phone while half-paying attention. At one point I looked up at my TV and noticed that there were three guys strumming on acoustic guitars, which seemed excessive given the simple instrumentation. I also saw a faux-vintage television on stage, positioned directly behind Wallen. On that screen was the text “2. I Got Better,” which briefly appeared before fuzzing into static. Then I turned back to the screen I held in my hand for most of the song. When I looked up again during the final chorus, the prop TV had flickered back to life. Now it read “34. LA Night,” which then transitioned to “35. Miami.”
Was Wallen listing out, as the first verse euphemizes, every “midnight movin’ on” since the end of his last serious relationship? The singer was engaged until 2019; he and his ex share a child. At first glance, it seemed like he was telling the world that the 34th woman he slept with post-breakup was after an LA Night and the next liaison was in Miami, each numb encounter nothing more than a number, an admission that sometimes he even “don’t know her name.” It may strike some as misogynist, but the extratextual component to this SNL performance struck me as a form of mythology building commonly employed by female pop singers but rarely by male country stars. (Perhaps the first caption, preceding “2. I Got Better,” was titled “1. I Cried in Bed After.”)
On the Internet, there was speculation that this song was written about Wallen’s ex. The reality is that it was generated during multiple rounds of a Nashville songwriting session. (Eight people share writing credits.) And as it turns out, those onscreen phrases were simply a partial tracklist reveal for his new album. Wallen sold “Get me to God’s country” t-shirts on the back of this minor controversy. But for a moment, I thought Wallen was being sincere.
The title of Wallen’s new album, I’m The Problem, undeniably a wink to the superstar’s well-documented controversies. He sang the record’s title track on SNL too, and it isn’t the self-lacerating confessional that the title suggests. Wallen twangs on the chorus, “If I'm so awful / Then why'd you stick around this long? / And if it's the whiskey / Then why you keep on pullin' it off the shelf1?” It’s a three-minute exercise in victim-blaming that reached #2 on the Hot 1002.
Depending on your social circles, Morgan Wallen is either inescapable or invisible in your life. Most coastal liberals would be shocked by his dominance on the Billboard charts; the heartland was vaguely aware of brat summer. But despite there being little overlap between pop stans and country diehards, the two music industries continue to converge. There’s more to this story, about country stars beginning to ape the self-mythologizing and era-building of Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, etc. It will culminate in these Nashville guys and gals actively fostering parasocial relationships with their fans. But this is getting long and I haven’t researched this subject enough, so I’m going to pull a Morgan Wallen and end it here.
For further reading on Morgan Wallen (lol), I highly recommend this post from Clare’s Famous and Beloved Newsletter, in which she examines the “Guy Swag” of Wallen and… Hereditary director Ari Aster.
Another 14 Songs I Listened to This Spring
Highlights:
“Cheyenne” – Ian Munsick. The Wyoming crooner is also signed to a Nashville label, but sonically he’s the opposite of Morgan Wallen, occupying the “western” end of a genre originally called “country and western.” This song, about an every-July romance with a rodeo queen, speaks to the economic desolation of places like Cheyenne, where “nobody stays… / Except a few broke downs and her damned old rodeo clown.” It’s the opposite of small town pride so frequently venerated by other singers in this sphere.
Another site-specific highlight from Munsick’s new album Eagle Feather is “Firewater,” a revenge tale against the wealthy Californians buying up all the land in Wyoming.
“She Hurts Like Tequila” – Cody Johnson & Carín Léon. If you can’t tell by these playlists, I have a soft spot for country and regional Mexican music. Obviously I’m gonna love a collaboration between the two genres.
“How Bad Do U Want Me” – Lady Gaga. Probably my most-listened to song ever since MAYHEM came out, and my favorite song on an incredible album.
“Bullseye” – Lucy Dacus with Hozier. No surprise that my favorite song on an album largely about a happy relationship was the sad one. Using this space to brag about going to the Lucy Dacus show where Hozier surprised everyone (including Dacus) to duet this song with her.
“Tonight” – PinkPantheress. Long live Pink! She’s a master of ad-libs. Those little “yeahs” and “come ons” are just so pleasing.
“Bad Boys” – Jax Jones, Rebecca Black, & Sooyeon. Loved Jones and Sooyeon’s euphoric hyperpop mix for NTS.
Other Fun Things I Did in May
Second time doing the Five Boro Bike Tour, second time being rained on during the Five Boro Bike Tour. I miss the pre-marathon renegade ride 🙁
A shochu tasting at Brooklyn Kura’s Sake Studies Center. I’ve become a big sake lover but Japan’s other landmark alcohol was rather unknown to me until now. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with Korean soju, and there’s a huge amount of variation within this category. If you’re just stopping in to Brooklyn Kura’s taproom in Industry City, highly recommend the sake kasu focaccia!
I made the infamous Tom Cruise white chocolate coconut bundt cake for a friend’s belated birthday. (The original intention was to compare it to the frozen cake shipped from the LA bakery that makes these, but shipping mishaps ruined that plan.) There are a lot of copycat recipes online; I used the one from Cake by Courtney as it seemed the most thoroughly tested and researched. It was excellent and lovely! I still need to see the new Mission Impossible!
Traveled to Europe… twice. I was in Copenhagen in the middle of May, and while I’m working on a trip recap, I’ve already updated my list of recommendations for eating, drinking, and what to do in between (basically museums and biking).
Some Copenhagen Recommendations
By no means am I an expert regarding this city; I’ve only spent a total of two weeks in Copenhagen. But a lot of this is informed by those who have lived here or those I trust for travel advice.
A week after getting back from Denmark, I left town again to head to Spain. (I have been asked many times why I didn’t just stay in Europe the entire time; trying to conserve PTO days and it would have been more expensive to stay abroad for that extra week.) I was just in Madrid (very fun and very hot) and am writing this from Barcelona. (I never got around to writing about last year’s trip to Spain… whoops… but I’ll have a list of recommendations for you when I get back home.)
I’m largely here for Primavera Sound at the end of this week, which I am very excited about. But I am missing being able to watch the Stanley Cup Playoffs and will be sleeping during the Tony Awards. In case you missed it, I paired up most of this year’s Tony nominated plays and musicals with movies!
Stage to Screen & Screen to Stage: Movie Pairings for This Year's Tony Nominees
The 78th Tony Awards are just two weeks away! Unlike the Oscars, it’s both very expensive and very hard to be a completionist and see all of the nominees. I go to the theater fairly often and still, I’ve only seen 13 of this season’s 48 productions (and 8 of the 18 nominees in the “Best” categories).
May Grog Log
The first alcoholic drink I consumed each day, and where.
Île de la Beauté Rosé, Dom. Fazi 2023 at Olo's
Jougo Kokuto Shochu at Brooklyn Kura
Alewife Primal Hazy IPA at Alewife
2023 Michel Torino - El Esteco 'Don David' Reserve Malbec at Aaron's
Brooklyn Kura "OMCH" Junmai at home
Nothing
Buñuel-groni at home
Wild East Standard Deviation (cask pull) at Wild East
Lychee soju at Nowon Bushwick
D'Ora Orange, Gerald Diem - 2023 at Pauls'
Canuck Cream Ale at The Canuck
Some Sauv Blanc on the plane Copenhagen
Veverkovi "Whaam!" 2022 at Oberra Copenhagen
Domaine Mark and Martial Angeli Les Vieilles Vignes des Blanderies 2020 at Alchemist Copenhagen
Château l'ermite Cuvée Auzan 2021 at Louisiana Museum Café Copenhagen
2023 Petit Chablis Guillaume Michaut at Kodbyens Fiskebar Copenhagen
Carlsberg on the plane Copenhagen
Montauk Summer Ale at Sravya's
Nothing
Nothing
Agave Daisy at home
Nothing
Nothing
Axum Tej Honey Mead at Brigid's
"Where Ya PJs At?", Ross & Bee Maloof 2023 at Dan's
Keg and Lantern Jamm Session at Keg and Lantern Red Hook
Nothing
Cruzcampo beer at 100 Montaditos Madrid
Glass of Godello at Sala de Despiece 2 Madrid
Craft Dogs Ale Brown Ale Ahumada x Picante at Bee Beer Madrid
Celler Kripta Cava Trepat Brut Reserva Rosat at Peter's Barcelona
Those latter two lines bring to mind the song “I Had Some Help,” Wallen’s recent chart-topping duet with Post Malone: “Don't act like you ain't help me pull that bottle off the shelf.”
Part of the bridge lyrics of “Just In Case” are “I could have three words on my tongue / But I won't ever say 'em.” Those three words? I’m the problem.